Happy Valentines Day!
As you all know, I met Chad on the dating inter-webs nearly 3 years ago.
What you may not know is my reasoning for going that route.
A good friend of mine met her now-husband on eHarmony.com 5 years ago.
This is her story:
Kayla met Jake on eHarmony in January of 2007. They emailed, chatted and texted for several weeks. Kayla told me at that time, "I am so nervous to meet this guy because I think I am already in love with him." I remember thinking, "K you are crazy! You don't even know him!"
I was very, very wrong, haha.
So flash-forward to the last weekend of January. They have their first date. He took her to a restaurant in Dallas called Cuba Libre. It sadly does not exist anymore. They had a great dinner and then went for drinks at a local wine bar. She texted me at 4 AM saying, "Best first date of my life; I guarantee you I am marrying this guy." Again I thought she was nuts! This is the epitome of meeting someone you can't wait to see again.
I met him about 3 weeks later when a bunch of us went out for Kayla's birthday. He was such a nice guy-really attentive to her, nice to her friends, her parents already loved him. This was the point where everyone knew this was different.
That night we all asked both of them why they chose eHarmony.
Jake said he wanted to find his wife, and that was not going to happen in a bar. He works in a very male-dominated field and did not meet women that way.
Kayla is a teacher and said a very similar thing.
Jake added that he wanted to meet a quality girl, not a quantity of bad first dates.
The next week I took Kayla for a belated birthday, just-girls lunch to a favorite Dallas spot. She told me, "We looked at rings! He's the one."
I said, of course, "How do you know he's the one?"
Her response...
"He makes my foot pop!"
I thought that was the best and most simple answer I could ever hear.
2 months later (3 months after their first date) they were engaged.
6 months after that they were married.
It is now a little over 5 years since she told me she was going to marry this guy, and they are in fact married; they have a house, and she is happily pregnant with their first child!!
I know a lot of people kind of snark at online dating, but it worked for them, and I know about 20 other people it's worked for. Give it a chance guys! It's a smarter way of dating-quality over quantity!
Now eHarmony and BlogHer are teaming up to provide one lucky reader with a $100 Visa Gift Card. To be entered for a chance to win, answer this question in comments!
What is the most important character trait your partner must have and why?
I can't wait to read your answers!
Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older.
Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.
You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 2/14/2012 - 3/15/2012.
Visit the BlogHer.com eHarmony page to check out more blogger success stories and for more chances to win!
YAY! I am the first one which means I totally won't win! HA!
ReplyDeleteI think the most important trait a partner should have is honesty. If you can't communicate with one another, or be honest without getting offended, than the rest doesn't mean anything:)
What a great story!
ReplyDeleteI think one of the most important traits a partner should have is to have a that funny bone in them. Life can't always be serious and if someone goes through life without laughing, even just a little bit, then they aren't fully living their life. :)
THE most important character trait in my husband? Is that he supports me no matter how crazy or ridiculous I may be acting or my ideas may seem. I am his wife, he chose me- and in doing so, he chose to support me for the rest of his life! And I'm not talking financially- I'm talking emotionally! You know, like he's got my back ;) Great give away, thanks Neely!
ReplyDeleteI tweeted! ;)
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/LvdMoreThnCrrts/status/169417462817886208
The most important trait a partner should have is being able to make you smile. A smile is THE prettiest expression in the world... it shows happiness, love, pride. If your partner can't make you smile, something is missing.
ReplyDeleteSweet story! The most important trait to me is faith. Being faithful not only to me but to God is very important to me. I mean that in the very best way. ;)
ReplyDeleteI tweeted about it! :)
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/Sonshine1296/status/169426870092300288
Such a cute story! I am sad Cuba Libre is gone too...loved that place! I think the most important trait to me is a sense of humor. I couldn't be with someone who didn't make me laugh and vice versa
ReplyDeleteOn of the most important things I was looking for was honesty, and I found it in J.
ReplyDeleteI used an online dating site to meet my boyfriend! We've been dating over a year and we're planning to get married :)
I think it's a great way to meet people!
I think the most important trait is they have to make me feel like "me." I don't have to try to be someone else!
ReplyDeleteI think the most important character trait in a partner is tenacity. When the going gets tough (as is bound to happen in any relationship), you need someone who won’t give up just because things are hard. You need someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.
ReplyDeletemami2jcn at gmail dot com
tweet:
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/mami2jcn/status/169433376107937792
mami2jcn at gmail dot com
I tweeted! https://twitter.com/#!/mateyab32/status/169433475311616001
ReplyDeleteYAY! Love this giveaway!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the most important trait a partner should have is definitely honesty. There is nothing is there is no honesty - I know this from experience!!! :-)
I think honesty is the most important because I need someone I can trust
ReplyDeleteelena150980@yahoo.com
tweet: https://twitter.com/#!/ElenaIstomina/status/169434919657947138
ReplyDeleteelena150980@yahoo.com
Hmm. The most important characteristic? It's so hard to pick just one. I guess I'll say he has to be kind. I've been around some real jerks lately who seem to have no regard for anyone's feelings. And since I'm a very sensitive person, kindness is important.
ReplyDeleteLove this story, by the way. My best friend (who got married in November) also met her husband on eharmony. She's the THIRD friend of mine to find love on there. :)
The guy has to have a sense of humor and be able to make me laugh. No matter what crap is going on in your life, a little laughter will always makes things better.
ReplyDeleteThe guy has to have a sense of humor and be able to make me laugh. No matter what crap is going on in your life, a little laughter will always makes things better.
ReplyDeleteSense of humor because life it going to be hard sometimes and you need somebody who's going to be able to always make you laugh.
ReplyDeleteFaith. With faith, everything else can be fixed. You just have to be willing to ask Him for help. :)
ReplyDeleteA partner must have loyalty.
ReplyDeletexo Shane
x3shanerx3@gmail.com
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship in my eyes. If you can't trust, you can't truly love.
ReplyDeleteI tweeted about the giveaway! https://twitter.com/#!/JustJenn68/status/169454622640050176
ReplyDeleteLove this! That is such a sweet, sweet story!!
ReplyDeleteTo me,the most important trait in a partner should be loving. I want someone who is going to love me, even when I least deserve it, but need it the most!!
I'm blogging about it now {mylifeinwords09.blogspot.com}
and I just tweeted! :)
My partner has to make me laugh, which my husband definitely does! But at the same time it has to be a balance of the goofy with the serious, which is what makes my marriage work so well. We can make ridiculous faces at each other, then have a real conversation about life 5 minutes later.
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait in a partner to me is that they be able to laugh. I need laughter in my life and if we can laugh it off together we can make it through anything!
ReplyDeleteI met my husband on Eharmony!! The most important trait is that he loves my daughter just as much as I do!
ReplyDeleteI think the most important trait for a partner is honesty, along with good communication and tolerance.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/rosorior/status/169457857819971584
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait to me is sense of humor. If you can have the same sense of humor and make each other laugh, you're golden. It's what gets your through the hard times!
ReplyDeleteI look for intelligence and curves in a woman!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many important traits! Loyal, caring, sense of humor, supportive. My most important trait is that he be a man of faith!
ReplyDeleteI tweeted! https://twitter.com/#!/allisondiane16/status/169468787542863872
ReplyDeleteI tweeted about it!!!
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/AmyWentz/status/169469227198193666
Love your story!! I think a partner should be honest, communicative and loving!
ReplyDeletethere is so many, but honesty is the foundation for a solid relationship. without it, you wouldn't have anything!
ReplyDeleteI tweeted!
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/runinstilettos/status/169475792332537856
My guy has to have a sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet story! I know several people who have found their husbands on eharmony.. it really does work!
ReplyDeleteA trait I want in my partner is a sense of humor. I want someone who will keep me laughing, because you never want too many dull moments!
My guy has to have a sense of humor! I love mike because he is constantly making me laugh- a thousand times over!
ReplyDeletei love humor.. can't be with someone that isn't funny!
ReplyDeletevanitizebaby at yahoo dot com
tweet
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/MeandBells/status/169508610789998593
vanitizebaby at yahoo dot com
They have to be smart/intelligent enough to carry on a conversation. I love learning new things and I want him to be able to enjoy learning new things too!
ReplyDeleteI tweeted
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/MsMiaMaree/status/169522243012009984
I think I might have to go with...devotion. If your partner is devoted to you, you don't have to worry about honesty or how he treats you!
ReplyDeleteI was looking for a man with integrity and I found him!
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/kelseystoker1/status/169547491447025664
ReplyDeleteI tweeted :)
I have had a few friends of mine find matches on eharmony/match and i think they are so so cute and I think just like everyone else says the best trait to have is honesty. Without that I don't think a relatioship can truly blossom!
ReplyDeleteI am going with honesty!! Nobody wants to be with a liar!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say honesty. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who wasn't honest with me about anything and everything. Of course, I would be honest too!
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait would have to be loving unconditionally. If someone can't do that, then it just won't last.
ReplyDeleteLove is a powerful thing :)
Hard to pick just one trait but I would have to say honesty which I think is a foundation for a strong relationship!
ReplyDeletei think compassion is the most important characteristic bc its the building block for every relationship
ReplyDeletepokergrl8 at gmail.com
https://twitter.com/#!/aes529/status/169571815595843584
ReplyDeletepokergrl8 at gmail.com
Loyalty is definitely my number one must have trait.
ReplyDeleteI'm def going to have to go with Loyalty/Honesty on this one!
ReplyDeleteI tweeted!
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/Heydtie042/status/169647041302106115
aww, i think that's a really inspiring story and i am soo happy for them. i will admit, i am kinda skeptical about online dating but it feels great to hear that it does really work. :)
ReplyDelete<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/
Udderly Smooth Giveaway
i never knew this Neely :-)
ReplyDeleteto me...the first thing that attracted me to my husband was his love for the Lord. we put the Lord first in our relationship and i firmly believe that HE has held us together all these years and Jim is pretty HOT!!! :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei tweeted about this giveaway:
ReplyDeleteGo enter @neelykins giveaway -- http://www.acompletewasteofmakeup.com/2012/02/eharmony-love-story-for-ages-and.html?showComment=1329314799023
A sense of humor is an absolute must, you have to be able to laugh together!
ReplyDeletea sense of humor because i need a good laugh every now and again
ReplyDeleteI think one of the most important traits I look for in a partner is a sense of humor. I know I use humor to deal with a lot of things and if the person I'm with can do the same, then we'll have a great connection.
ReplyDeleteThe most important character trait my partner must have is honesty. That is because I believe all relationships build on trust. I don’t think I can trust someone that’s not honest.
ReplyDeleteAmy [at] utry [dot] it
I tweeted about this giveaway: https://twitter.com/#!/uTry_it/status/169928304466460672
ReplyDeleteAmy [at] utry [dot] it
sense of humor
ReplyDeletekarinaroselee at gmail dot com
i tweeted
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/karinaroselee/status/169932071396061184
karinaroselee at gmail dot com
My partner must be honest otherwise I can't trust him
ReplyDeletes2s2 at comcast dot net
https://twitter.com/#!/susan1215/status/169958320407453697
ReplyDeletes2s2 at comcast dot net
Honesty is the most important to me, I want to be able to trust whoever I am with.
ReplyDeletesweokgrl@gmail.com
tweeted
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/bdiane35/status/169983821255675904
Kindness. If your spouse isn't nice to you, something is wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait is integrity. If a man is not his word than the trust is lacking which is a foundation in a relationship
ReplyDeleteKindness is most important to me! Thanks for a chance to win and best wishes,
ReplyDeletekmassmanATgmailDOTcom
transparency--i.e. honesty--without it a relationship is doomed.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/fostertam/status/170870581279981568
ReplyDeletesense of humor! life is too short to notlaugh through it. scg00387 at yahoo dot com
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/DesMoinesDealin/status/170972142500986881 scg00387 at yahoo dot com
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait in a partner is honesty!
ReplyDeleteMy partner must pull his own weight, not wait for things to be given to him. I worked hard for everything I have and am tired of meeting people who wait for everything rather than working for it.
ReplyDeletechainmail (at)iwon dot com
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I copied the wrong link for my tweet. It is https://twitter.com/#!/The_Sunshyn/status/171326072086986754
ReplyDeletepatience is important because i can't stand people who are upset all the time
ReplyDeletethepryfamily@gmail.com
https://twitter.com/#!/thepryfamily/status/171374551068966915
ReplyDeletethepryfamily@gmail.com
APPRECIATION... I TRIED DATING SOMEONE WHO HAD NONE & IT TRULY DID NOT WORK OUT.
ReplyDeletekytah00@yahoo.com
2ND ENTRY TWEET https://twitter.com/#!/kytah00/status/171812771183333377
ReplyDeleteThe most important character trait my partner must have is sense of humor. To be able to always look the bright side when things go unplanned/wrong.
ReplyDeletetcarolinep at gmail dot com
https://twitter.com/#!/tcarolinep/status/171837328833249280
ReplyDeleteFor me, the most important character trait my partner must have is loyalty. This doesn't just mean not straying, but also defending me, treating me well, and believing in me and our relationship.
ReplyDeletejfong1130 at yahoo dot com
https://twitter.com/#!/jfong1130/status/171842795923972096
ReplyDeletejfong1130 at yahoo dot com
https://twitter.com/#!/Raynekitten/status/171881597988122624
ReplyDeleteI tweeted.
I need a man with a sense of humor.. thats the only way i'll ever survive in life is with someone who can laugh with me, at me, and for me.
ReplyDeleteThe most important character trait my partner must have is honesty, because I cannot trust anyone who is not honest especially who is your partner.
ReplyDeletectong2[at]gmail[dot]com
I tweeted about this giveaway:
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/ctong2/status/171888043341524992
ctong2[at]gmail[dot]com
My husband must be loyal to family because that is the basis for a good relationship.
ReplyDeleteKellywcuATyahooDOTcom
tweeted
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/kellydsaver/status/171961422371229697
kellywcuATyahooDOTcom
I think the most important character trait is caring and understand. I have dated alot of guys in the past who never show that to me.
ReplyDeletepurple_lover_04 at msn dot com
https://twitter.com/#!/purplelover04/status/173171337605554176
ReplyDeleteGood communication skills are really important. I don't want to guess what anyone is thinking, or play any games.
ReplyDeletekaytewatts AT aol DOT com
https://twitter.com/#!/davisesq212/status/173795261716496384
ReplyDeleteThe most important trait a partner should have is trust. If he cannot trust me, who can he trust?
ReplyDeletelove his family. family means a lot to me
ReplyDeletemerleandtina@Yahoo.com
https://twitter.com/#!/HappyTina0115/status/174558763251015680
ReplyDeletemerleandtina@Yahoo.com
honesty because you've got to be able to trust your partner!
ReplyDeletedebbiebellows (at)gmail (dot)com
here's my tweet link:
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/bellows22/status/174688424438153216
debbiebellows (at) gmail (dot) com
The most important character trait to me is humor. Life is so hard some days and a sense of humor would make life so much more fun and enjoyable during the hard times.
ReplyDeletelandfjacobson @ charter.net
I tweeted
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/Ilovemybeagle2/status/175637237243969537
landfjacobson @ charter.net
Kayla's story is so sweet, thanks for sharing it. The most important character trait I look for is honesty because trust is so important in a relationship.
ReplyDeletesongyueyu at gmail
tweet: https://twitter.com/#!/syytta/status/175906756646551552
ReplyDeletesongyueyu at gmail
Kindness is the most important to me.
ReplyDeletenuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net
tweeted: https://twitter.com/#!/KerryBishop/status/175968671464824832
ReplyDeletenuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net
My partner must have compassion because when things are not so good I know I can always count on him to tell me everything is going to be okay. thanks!
ReplyDeleteashleygatewood1(AT)gmail.com
https://twitter.com/#!/shuggysmommy/status/176021746573508608
ReplyDeleteashleygatewood1(AT)gmail.com
The most important trait for me in my partner is honesty. I feel that honesty is an important part of any relationship and makes the relationship function healthier.
ReplyDeletekatbirdfl (at) gmail (dot) com
Tweet: https://twitter.com/#!/katbirdfl/status/176162475107041280
ReplyDeletekatbirdfl (at) gmail (dot) com
I think the most important trait is kindness. It's sometimes difficult to have empathy but it would make the world a much better place if we all strove to be kinder and more empathetic.
ReplyDeleteTweet
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/#!/didyouyarnthat/status/176984811263631360
The important trait is sense of humor. A happy wife is a happy life!
ReplyDeleteBeing supportive of me is hugely important. Even if my husband has suggestions for a better way to do things or needs to talk me down from a frenze I've whipped myself into, I need to know he supports me.
ReplyDeletewolverina401 at gmail dot com
In my opinion, the most important thing to look for in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is trust because that is the backbone of any relationship. Without having complete trust in your partner, it is very hard for the relationship to weather the bumps that inevitably come.
ReplyDeleteMake me laugh. Humor can get you thru the hardest of times, this I know from experience!
ReplyDeleteAngie
14earth at gmail dot com
I tweeted here: https://twitter.com/#!/MsTofuFairy/status/179263028863315969
ReplyDeleteAngie
14earth at gmail dot com
I think the most important is integrity. So many other great qualities go along with integrity.
ReplyDeletekristisdeals1 at yahoo dot com
I love that my husband can read my moods and turn them for the better if need arises.
ReplyDeleteI think its important to be able to communicate openly and honestly with each other aunteegem@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteFor me, honesty is the most important because without it you lose trust. Humor is next since it helps through the hard times.
ReplyDeleteTweet: http://twitter.com/njhhb/statuses/180235880064233472
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's a shared sense of humor to find the funny in life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the contest.
blogged:
ReplyDeletehttp://slehan.blogspot.com/2012/03/win-100-visa-gc-from-blogher-and.html